How To Raise Kids Who Aren’t Assholes

Praise for How To Raise Kids Who Aren’t Assholes

“Amid Trump, #MeToo and rising hate crime, science writer Melinda Wenner Moyer decided it was time to learn how to stop her kids becoming ‘assholes’. Her research became an unusual, much-needed parenting book.”

The Guardian

“Is it bad to pressure kids to get good grades? Will playing too many videogames rot my kid’s brain? How can I raise my children to be anti-racist? There’s an (over)abundance of answers to those questions—and everyone is more than happy to tell you why their answers are right—but most of what parents hear isn’t based on any real science. In Melinda Wenner Moyer’s new book, perfectly titled How to Raise Kids Who Aren’t Assholes, the science writer surveys the latest studies to inform ‘science-based strategies for better parenting.'”

Boing Boing

“Science journalist Melinda Wenner Moyer cuts through the data… She looks at research on gunplay, screen time, shyness, resilience and more, helping parents effectively send the message that kindness matters.”

CNN

“It’s one thing to say you don’t want your kid to be an asshole. This book gives you data-driven, research-based tools to actually achieve it.”

— Emily Oster, PhD, author of Cribsheet and Expecting Better

“I can’t think of a more important life lesson than ‘don’t be an asshole.’ Unfortunately, many kids don’t learn it—because many parents fail to teach it. Thanks to this book, they no longer have an excuse. It’s a smart, engaging, honest, and surprisingly useful read about how to nurture decency and generosity.”

Adam Grant, author of Think Again

“Wenner Moyer crafts a winning guide for parents who wish to build a ‘better, fairer, stronger world.’ This delightful mix of strategy and humor shouldn’t be missed.”

– Publisher’s Weekly, Starred review

“Most parents say we want our children to be kind, compassionate people. Yet everything in the culture urges us to teach something else . . . Melinda Wenner Moyer weaves cutting edge science with accessible stories and actionable tips to help us rebalance those crucial scales, to be the parents we know we can be—and, truly, to raise children who aren’t assholes.”

Peggy Orenstein, author of Girls & Sex and Boys & Sex

“Moyer probes the research on how to encourage kids to be generous, honest, helpful and kind. She reviews studies on how to instill egalitarian beliefs and make sure kids know how to stand up against racism and sexism. And she talks to scientists about perennial parental struggles such as sibling rivalry, teaching safe sex and moderating screen time.”

Scientific American

“If the title alone doesn’t make you fall in love with the book, I’m not sure what to tell you. Wenner Moyer is a science journalist who realized that despite books that tell us how to do nearly everything in parenting, there wasn’t a book that helped you to raise kids who weren’t, well…assholes. This is an interesting, fact-based look at how to do just that. (Also, I suspect that if you bring this to the playground, it will attract like-minded mom friends!)”

Book Riot

“How can parents raise kids who believe in themselves and in building a better, more compassionate future? This book provides the roadmap. Filled with actionable, sometimes surprising, always data-driven ideas, Melinda Wenner Moyer has given us an invaluable resource.”

Madeline Levine, PhD, author of The Price of Privilege and Ready or Not   

“Crucial, timely, and wise. This is the parenting handbook for raising the next generation.”

— Carla Naumburg, PhD, author of How to Stop Losing Your Sh*t With Your Kids 

“If you are a parent who wants to know that your parenting energies are tried and true, tested and trusted, this book is the place where you can plant your flag.”

Mark McConville, PhD, author of Failure to Launch 

How to Raise Kids Who Aren’t Assholes

Science-based Strategies for Better Parenting—From Tots to Teens

 

“Wenner Moyer crafts a winning guide for parents who wish to build a ‘better, fairer, stronger world.’ This delightful mix of strategy and humor shouldn’t be missed.”

Publisher’s Weekly, Starred review

As an award-winning science journalist, Melinda Wenner Moyer was regularly asked to address all kinds of parenting questions. But as Melinda’s children grew, she found that one huge area was ignored in the realm of parenting advice: How do we make sure our kids don’t grow up to be assholes?

On social media, in the news, and from the highest levels of government, kids have been getting the message that being selfish, obnoxious and cruel is okay. Hate crimes among children and teens have been rising, while compassion has been dropping. We know, of course, that young people have the capacity for great empathy, resilience, and action, and we all want to bring up kids who will help build a better tomorrow. But how do we actually do this? How do we raise children who are kind, considerate, and ethical inside and outside the home, who will grow into adults committed to making the world a better place?

How to Raise Kids Who Aren’t Assholes is a deeply researched, evidence-based primer that provides a fresh, often surprising perspective on parenting issues, from toddlerhood through the teenage years. First, Melinda outlines the traits we want our children to possess—including honesty, generosity, and antiracism—and then she provides scientifically-based strategies that will help parents instill those values in their kids. Learn how to raise the kind of kids you actually want to hang out with… and who just might save the world.

Press for How To Raise Kids Who Aren’t Assholes

Book excerpt featured in the New York Times: How To Raise Kids Who Won’t Be Racist 

Book excerpt featured in The Atlantic: American Parents Are Way Too Focused on Their Kids’ Self-Esteem 

Book excerpt featured in the August issue of Parents magazine: Five Ways to Keep Siblings From Fighting

Profiled and reviewed in The Guardian

Featured on CNN.com

Featured on WNYC’s All Of It with Alison Stewart 

Featured on KPCC LA’s AirTalk 

Featured on Sirius XM’s Signal Boost 

Featured on CBC Montreal’s Let’s Go and CBC Vancouver’s On the Coast

Featured in Scientific American

Featured in Boing Boing

Featured in The Toronto Star

Featured in the New York Post

Featured on LifeHacker’s The Upgrade podcast

Featured on the Raising Good Humans podcast with Dr. Aliza Pressman

Featured in The Next Big Idea’s shortlist of 50 Amazing New Nonfiction Books to Kick Off Your Summer Reading

Featured in Book Riot’s round-up of Parenting Books for Parents Who Hate Parenting Books

 

How to raise kids who aren’t assholes

Advance praise for How To Raise Kids Who Aren’t Assholes

“It’s one thing to say you don’t want your kid to be an asshole. This book gives you data-driven, research-based tools to actually achieve it.”

— Emily Oster, PhD, author of Cribsheet and Expecting Better

“I can’t think of a more important life lesson than ‘don’t be an asshole.’ Unfortunately, many kids don’t learn it—because many parents fail to teach it. Thanks to this book, they no longer have an excuse. It’s a smart, engaging, honest, and surprisingly useful read about how to nurture decency and generosity.”

— Adam Grant, author of Think Again

“Most parents say we want our children to be kind, compassionate people. Yet everything in the culture urges us to teach something else: that the most important values are achievement and competitiveness. Melinda Wenner Moyer weaves cutting edge science with accessible stories and actionable tips to help us rebalance those crucial scales, to be the parents we know we can be—and, truly, to raise children who aren’t assholes.”

— Peggy Orenstein, author of Girls & Sex and Boys & Sex

“How can parents raise kids who believe in themselves and in building a better, more compassionate future? This book provides the roadmap. Filled with actionable, sometimes surprising, always data-driven ideas, Melinda Wenner Moyer has given us an invaluable resource.”

Madeline Levine, PhD, author of The Price of Privilege and Ready or Not

“Crucial, timely, and wise. This is the parenting handbook for raising the next generation.”

— Carla Naumburg, PhD, author of How to Stop Losing Your Sh*t With Your Kids 

“Moyer has mastered the art of translating complex research findings into straightforward and highly accessible practical advice. She blends the weight and gravitas of science with a voice that is down to earth, candid, humble, warm, and inviting. If you are a parent who wants to know that your parenting energies are tried and true, tested and trusted, this book is the place where you can plant your flag.”

— Mark McConville, PhD, author of Failure to Launch 

Contact Melinda if you’re interested in booking her for an event or media appearance.

Subscribe to Melinda’s Newsletter